A Soldier's Journey Read online

  He suddenly realized he was staring. “I had better go,” he said. “The television is satellite and has a lot of stations available. There’s a path just to the left of the cabin that goes up the side of the mountain. There’s some great views there.” He cocked his head. “Anything else you would like to know?”

  She shook her head. “It’s far more than I expected.” She hesitated, then added, “Dr. Payne said there might be something I can do to pay for the use of the cabin.” It was a question more than a statement.

  “Is there anything you like to do?”

  “I’m a surgical nurse. Or was one before my hand was damaged. I don’t really know anything else.”

  “I’m sure Josh and Eve will find something if you’re interested. Eve’s uncanny in ferreting out talents.”

  “Dr. Payne said she’s the mayor?”

  He grinned. “And a damn good one.”

  She nodded, obviously absorbing the information, then went to the door. “Thank you for the welcome,” she said.

  It was an obvious dismissal. “Don’t hesitate to call if you need anything or have questions,” he said again as he walked toward the door. “Covenant Falls is very safe, and the sunsets are great. Oh, and every Monday night we have a meeting of vets. Seven p.m. at the community center. It’s right at the end of this road.”

  “And play poker?” Her lips eased slightly into an almost smile.

  “You heard about that?” Nate said with a grin. “It’s just penny ante. But we enjoy it. And we’re happy to have new faces.” Particularly a pretty one, he suspected. He kept that thought to himself and hurried on. “You can bring Joseph. Josh always brings his dog, and everyone has gotten accustomed to having him there.” He headed for the door. He had already stayed longer than necessary. He forced himself down the path to his pickup.

  As he opened the truck door, he glanced back. Andy Stuart was watching as he left. Slim and straight and still, she looked like a statue.

  He started his pickup and headed toward Lake Road. He swore to himself. Dammit. Why couldn’t she have been gruff and rough and thoroughly disagreeable? Instead, she was soft-spoken and appealing. More than appealing. He suspected the haunted gray eyes would stay with him. It was something he did not need at the moment. Or ever.

  Hell, he had always been a sucker for a damsel in distress. That particular weakness had nearly destroyed his life. He’d sworn it wasn’t going to happen again. He had a chance now to rebuild his career, and he damn well wasn’t going to let anything, especially a woman, risk it.

  He was going to stay away. A long, long way away.

  * * *

  ANDY WATCHED HIM drive away, then turned back to explore the cabin.

  Her first impression of the cabin was warmth. Someone had loved this cabin. And that made her ache inside. It was just like the home she and Jared had planned to buy. A large living area with expansive windows, hardwood floors and a huge fireplace.

  She went into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee from the electric pot. Mr. Rowland had put out a cup and bowls of sugar and creamer. She liked her coffee black, and the stronger the better. She had become addicted to it in college and later during long hours in operating rooms.

  She took a plate with two rolls outside and returned for the coffee. She didn’t want to risk spilling either one with her bad hand. She sat in one of several chairs on the screened porch and ignored the swing. Joseph followed her and sat at her side and regarded the roll enviously.

  Andy couldn’t help but smile as the dog’s tongue lolled out the side of his mouth. She steeled herself against getting too attached to the dog, but she had to admit he was growing on her. She couldn’t resist giving him a piece of roll.

  She looked out through the pines to the lake. The sky was impossibly blue against the mountains, and a cool breeze was refreshing. The scent of pines perfumed the air.

  For the first time since she set off on this journey, she relaxed. Maybe this had been a good move, temporarily anyway. She liked Nate Rowland. He hadn’t pushed but made her feel comfortable in a strange place under strange circumstances. He was lanky, like Jared, and had a warm smile.

  Grief filled her as she saw Jared’s smile again, slow to come but then widening until it filled her heart. It was as real today as it had been seven months ago.

  She felt the darkness descending again. The despair. Joseph nudged her, and she stood, remembering what Nate Rowland said about the mountain. A walk. Fresh air. That was what she needed. She looked up and saw the path he had mentioned.

  “What do you think, Joseph? Should we try it?”

  Joseph wagged his tail eagerly.

  She silently admitted to doubts. Her hand would be no use if she needed to grab something. But the path was there. Taunting her. Inviting her to leave her safety zone.

  She could hear Jared now. Go for it.

  A breeze brushed her face, as if he were there next to her.

  She started up the path. Joseph went ahead of her but kept looking back to make sure she was keeping pace with him. She didn’t realize how out of shape she was. She hadn’t run since Afghanistan.

  She was breathing hard when she reached what was obviously a lookout. She paused and looked out over the town of Covenant Falls. It looked like a toy town from here. The lake appeared an even richer blue. On its border was a large park with a beach, gazebo, swings and a large rambling building. Four church steeples were also visible. The main street was the only one that looked busy.

  A peaceful town where everyone probably knew everyone. It wasn’t what she and Jared had planned. He’d been a top surgeon specializing in traumatic injuries. He had already been offered positions in several practices in Chicago and Richmond, Virginia, at the end of his service commitment. Richmond had been her hope, but she’d suspected Chicago had been his.

  Nor was Covenant Falls anything like the mining town where she had been raised. That town had the scent of poverty hovering over it. Hardscrabble houses and bare yards. There was always the smell of coal and dust and the sound of heavy machinery.

  Joseph made curious little noises in his throat and licked her hand. “Sensing something, huh?” she said. “But I’m okay. Really, I am.”

  He looked at her with those clear blue eyes. He seemed to be saying, “I’m here now. You’re not alone.”

  Not alone. Then, why did she feel she was? Nate Rowland seemed nice enough. But he was a stranger, and she intended to keep him that way.

  He’d looked Western inside and out with his hard, lean build, plaid flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up, worn jeans and boots. His hair was a little long and looked as if it had been combed with his fingers, and his eyes were a cool hazel. His hand had been hard with calluses.

  Jared’s hands had been so different. His fingers had been long and smooth and supple, as if designed to perform the most delicate and precise surgery. His dark eyes were always intense...

  Don’t! Don’t do this! She filled her lungs with fresh air and the rich smell of pine. She swallowed hard. Joseph nudged her again, and she reached out and scratched behind his ears. He was a dog. A smart one, but could he really read her mind?

  She hadn’t had a nightmare or panic attack since the third night at Karen’s ranch, but then that had been only a few days ago. Her problem was she never knew when they would strike. That uncertainty kept her from searching out a nonsurgical nursing position.

  Rested, she looked at the towering mountains in the other direction. Snow-covered peaks glistened in the noon sun. How she wished Jared could see it, too.

  She could almost hear his voice. Live, sweetheart. Live for me.

  He wouldn’t be happy with the way she had closed herself off from life.

  And yet pain was a living thing inside her. It had been for months. She couldn’t let go of it. She
didn’t want to let it go. It would be a betrayal of those who died that day. But maybe here—away from the military and everything that reminded her of her former life—maybe she could manage it. Maybe she could take pleasure in a deep blue sky and a fresh breeze without feeling guilty.

  She started down the mountain. The path was well trod but steep. She had to concentrate on every step—a good thing, in her mind. She was winded when she reached the bottom. She remembered when she could run ten miles without breathing hard.

  But that was a lifetime ago. Now she had to face new challenges. She only hoped she could.

  CHAPTER THREE

  ONCE BACK IN the cabin, Andy decided to explore. She’d had very little sleep last night, but she hated the very thought of sleep these days. Too many nightmares.

  She was curious about Covenant Falls now. Curious about the cabin and its owner and past occupants. She’d been stationed in Texas and had visited Colorado during leaves, but she’d never heard of Covenant Falls. She wanted to know more about her mysterious benefactor who would offer a very comfortable cabin to a stranger.

  She checked out the kitchen fridge and cupboard. As Mr. Rowland said, both were filled. There was a small room in back with a washer and dryer.

  Then she went through the living room to a large bedroom. The bed was a double and looked comfortable. The headboard faced a window that framed large pine trees. The bathroom was medium size with a large walk-in shower.

  Then she inspected the desk in the second bedroom, which apparently served as an office and library. She found pens and notebooks, along with reams of paper as well as stacks of books. She carried a notebook and a couple of pens into the living room and settled in a big comfortable chair.

  She started writing, making notes about Dr. Payne, Karen Conway and Nate Rowland and what she knew about them. Impressions, really. It had been a habit of hers since she left home for college.

  There had been so many new people, and notes helped her to remember them all. She turned the notes into journals when she went on active duty. There had been so much to see and remember.

  She hadn’t written anything since the attack, nor had she ever asked about the journals or her other property left in Afghanistan. She hadn’t wanted anything. They had been stored with other items in a storage unit near the base. There had been so much about Jared in the last one, and she couldn’t bear to read it.

  When she finished, she turned on the television and ran through the stations, stopping only at a news channel when she heard a commentator mention Afghanistan. More troops were pulling out. Her team had been among the last medical teams remaining. The rest of the unit had probably been dismantled after the attack.

  Just the thought of Afghanistan sent familiar images swirling through her head: the day she had arrived at the forward base, the first time she’d met Jared, the last time she had seen him. Blood had been everywhere then...

  Joseph moved closer to her, nudged her and made guttural sounds in his throat. She assumed that was his way of reassuring her. “It’s okay,” she said and rubbed his ears. The guttural sounds turned into something more like a purr.

  Andy turned the television off and looked at the clock. Just after noon.

  She should fix lunch. She wasn’t hungry, but she needed to eat. She was foraging in the fridge when the phone rang.

  “Hi” came the cheerful voice on the phone when she picked it up. “I’m Eve Manning. I hope I’m not intruding, but I wanted to make sure you had everything you need. I would have been there to meet you, but I had a meeting in town.”

  “Mr. Rowland was very helpful,” Andy replied.

  “Are you up to a visit? And don’t be polite.”

  Andy hesitated. It was the last thing she wanted. She was tired and tense from the drive. She had met one stranger, had imagined his unsaid questions. She didn’t want more. But the caller was the mayor, and Andy had accepted use of her husband’s cabin. She sighed. Maybe coming here hadn’t been the best idea.

  But then she probably couldn’t sleep, either. “That would be fine,” Andy said, hoping the delay in her reply didn’t say more than her actual words.

  “Would one be okay? I can take you to Maude’s or we can stay at the cabin. You decide.”

  She needed to get out. She knew that. She couldn’t retreat into a safe place again, as she had done with the hospital. She had taken one step forward in coming here. It was time to take another. “Mr. Rowland mentioned Maude’s.”

  “Good. I can show you around town. I have to warn you, though, that everyone will want to meet you. They mean well, but they sort of take vets under their collective wing whether or not you want to be there.”

  “I’m warned,” Andy replied.

  “Nate also said you have a dog,” Eve said.

  “Yes, Joseph. He’s a service dog, although not the kind that can go in restaurants.” Apparently the law only permitted dogs for physically handicapped vets.

  “Here he can,” the mayor said. “Maude has a soft spot for dogs, and the mayor’s just fine with it. Your predecessors both take their dogs inside.”

  “Then, I will,” Andy said. “We’re new to each other and this is a strange place for him.” For both of us.

  “You’ll have to introduce him to my crew,” Eve said.

  “Crew?”

  “Five dogs,” she said. “And a cat.” She hesitated, then added, “Well, one is strictly my husband’s. Amos was a military dog and highly disciplined. The rest of my group are rather unruly.”

  “Sounds...interesting.”

  “Terrifying sometimes. I’ll be there at one.”

  The phone clicked off.

  Andy took a deep breath. Had she done the right thing in agreeing to go to a public place? What if she had a panic attack? She knew, though, she had to get busy doing something or she could sink back in inertia.

  “What do you think, Joseph?” Despite her vow to the contrary, she found herself talking to Joseph often.

  Joseph stared at her with those penetrating blue eyes. He barked.

  “I’ll take that as a yes,” she said. She filled Joseph’s water dish, then went into the bedroom. She opened the duffel and took out a sweater and a clean pair of jeans and headed for the shower.

  * * *

  THE MAYOR ARRIVED just as Andy’s watch hit 1:00 p.m.

  She didn’t know what she’d expected, but when she opened the door, she saw a tall, attractive woman with shoulder-length dark hair, a pug nose and a wide smile.

  “I’m Eve,” the mayor said simply.

  “And I’m Andy,” Andy said.

  “Andy it is. Welcome back to the civilian world.” Eve leaned down and rubbed Joseph’s ears. “And who is this?” she asked as Joseph frantically wagged his tail.

  “Joseph,” Andy replied. “He’s only been with me a short time.”

  “Ever had a dog before?”

  “No. Dogs and the army don’t go together, and my family never had one when I was young.”

  “Watch out. They steal your heart in no time.”

  Joseph’s tail wagged happily as they walked to the pickup parked next to the Bucket. Eve opened the passenger door and invited Joseph inside and showed him a spot behind the front passenger seat. Andy climbed in after him.

  “Thank you for including him,” Andy said. “And thanks for the use of the cabin.”

  “That’s my husband’s doing.”

  “Why?” The question was abrupt and probably rude, but it had been pricking at her.

  “His best friend owned the cabin and was killed saving Josh’s life. Josh had a lot of grief and anger when he left the army. He directed it toward rehabbing the cabin he inherited from his buddy. Rehabbing it was therapeutic for Josh, but when we married he moved in with me. The cabin needed
a new resident, and Josh wanted something good to come out of a tragedy.”

  Andy felt an instant kinship with the owner. No wonder she’d felt more at home here than she’d expected.

  They left the cabin, and Eve drove out of the driveway. “That’s a great car,” she said of the yellow Volkswagen. “My husband will go crazy when he sees it. So will Stephanie, our veterinarian. How old is it?”

  “Nearly forty,” Andy said.

  She didn’t add that she’d feared she wouldn’t be able to drive it again after the injury to her hand, but she had practiced for hours until she felt confident she could steady the wheel while working the clutch.

  “I’ll give you a quick tour,” Eve said, interrupting that thought. “The second cottage down from you belongs to Mrs. Byars,” Eve explained. “Her son was killed in the service, and she loves veterans. She’ll probably be by in the next few days with something wonderful to eat.”

  They reached the end of the road. A park was on the right. “That building is our community center. If you don’t have a computer, you can use one there. It’s free. That’s also where the veterans in town meet every Monday night. I’m barred, but you’ll be invited.”

  Eve turned right toward the center, then a left. “This is Main Street,” Eve said. Andy looked at the modest houses lining the street for six blocks before hitting businesses on the left side of the road. “That’s the city hall, along with the police and fire departments. The police are paid, but the firefighters are all volunteers except for the chief. He’s a retired firefighter from Pueblo and receives a small salary for keeping the equipment and conducting training.

  “On the left is the veterinarian practice. Stephanie Phillips is one of the best and most caring vets you’ll find. A few doors down is Doc Bradley. He’s nearing seventy, and a bit grouchy, but he’s a very good general practitioner and can usually be reached day or night. In between the vet and doctor is the real estate and insurance office. A small bank branch is located inside the building.